Been a Couple of Days.....

This weather is making the weeds grow something chronic.... another day of muggy hot weather, the good news the garden is producing a small amount of tomatoes daily now :).

Grief, why can't some people not understand that grief is very personal, we all grieve differently, there is no right or wrong way.... it has been 26 days since dad goes, I still cry most days, especially at night, with some guilt of the things we couldn't give dad the last 2-3 days he wanted..... I cry he remembers the falls he had and passing away alone in hospice. There were 3 wishes he had, to die at home, not die alone and get cremated, we gave the cremation one....he passed at hospice and my sister and I did not stay the night as he was stable and the nurses felt he would be still around in the morning, but he didn't last the night, there is a lot of guilt right now.... my sister only lived 10 minutes away if that, and when they rang her they said he had maybe 30 minutes, I know I couldn't make it in time, but he passed within 4 minutes of the phone call..... I am also sick of people assuming I should be over it and be back to my normal bitchy self..... don't get me wrong hospice was amazing, and his room looked out to a farm, with sheep, cows and roosters..... now I am balling my eyes out again..... I did my nails last Friday, now they are all ripped off thanks to stress.....

On to good news, my sisters partner is home and recovering well......

Eli is sick, he has runny poo's been to doctor and now we have to keep a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't dehydrate..... if he does next stop is hospital..... Isaac stayed the other night, so that was nice :).

Though I can't see many, we have so many Tui's that are singing all day, that is nice....

Back later at some stage....