Angry..... RANT....

I have never been so angry as what I am feeling for the last 24 hours, everyone knew I was going to the family home for the last time yesterday.... Chris was awesome, he checked in with me a couple of times..... David did as well, but my daughter who thinks of no-one but herself has not even asked how the day went.... in fact I have had no communication with her at all..... I am so hurt and angry with her right now.... She got Dad's car for free and it's a pigsty, her rego has run out a few days ago and have reminded her every day to get it sorted, she said she would last night, don't know if she has..... I am now going to put the car under her name, (it was in mine), and I will pay this month's insurance and then she can start paying it, and she can get her own contacts (eyes) - now as well, which I have been paying. After this last incident I am over it. I will do anything for the kids and her partner but not her. By not asking me how I am has hurt so much....... yet she was able to go out with her friend for however long, left the kids with their dad... When I got back Isaac came for a visit to give his dad a break..... oh and I started crying and Isaac goes "its ok Oma, just think of the good times" such a sweet boy. 

Yesterday was so hard, I went into every room said my goodbyes and then locked up with the key inside, so I could no longer go back in and burst into tears and sat in the car and just cried and cried...... and cried all the way home..... the lounge-suite is here with a couple of other things....

Today I am feeling better, not great but better, I also removed dad's phone number of my phone, its time for me to let it go and just enjoy the happy memories we had in the house, and also deleted the KatiKati weather app.... I am now going to remove myself of the KatKati facebook pages......

Isaac I think is staying the night tonight, he only has this week and next week for kindy, then she has to get her shit together... and get him to school I will do the odd drop off but she can do the majority of drop offs and pick ups. She has to learn to be a parent and I need to start backing off. 

Anyway catch you later....

Well that didn't go quite as planned, went to get Isaac for kindy, and because of his nose, we decided to keep him home, so he is here for the day.... and night. Anyway I had it out with Steph about how I felt and she lost it with me and turned it around to be all about her once again, how tired she was and how she hasn't slept for 2 days etc - yeah well its called parenting.... oh and his nose is all red and sore from where he has been picking it, a tic maybe nervous for school maybe who knows...... lets take a guess on how long before she will talk to me.... I am justy an emotional mess......

A Tough Day Ahead....

I am not looking forward to today, I am scared saying goodbye to the family home, but I need to put my big girl pants on and do it. Then I have no further commitments...... so time to focus on me.... and start renovating the house bit by bit.... my stomach is going around in knots.

Oh and did I remove my nails?, well yes kind off, I ripped the bloody extensions off and now they are a little sore.... am not going to put anything on them for a week or two.....

IndyCar is on so got up at 4.30am to watch it, it finishes at 7am and will leave about 8.30ish.... 

Time for me to set some goals, I no longer need to go to KatiKati again after today..... Goals will come under the categories, of 

ME: Health - Food/Exercise

HOUSE: Kitchen/Curtains/Painting

NAILS: Start Building up the Business

GARDENS: Tidy Veggie Boxes/Work on Flower Gardens

GARAGE: Declutter/Tidy/Set Up Exercise Area (Hopefully)

On a positive Spring is in 8 weeks time :)

Anyway catch you when I get back home.....

Today was rough, rougher than I ever expected.....

Catch you tomorrow :(

Seeing the SOLD sign....

Seeing the sold sign on the internet hit me like a ton of bricks on the lands agent site....

Less than 5 weeks till takeover....

Anyway onto today, going to get groceries at some stage, then remove my nails, have pulled two off, so need to get them off before I pull the rest off....

Currently watching IndyCar qualifying.... well was hoping to, but they have thunder there, so it's delayed they have to have 30 minutes of no thunder to continue..... ggggrrrr

My knee that needs a replacement is a little sore so I am going to go on 3 x 10 minute or so walk for next week, I have also heard the best time to walk is after a meal, so am going to try that as well.... If I do more but shorter walks throughout the day at least I will be close to home if it gives out.... It was really sore a couple of years ago, but has been pretty good since then - I know it's the cold weather trigging it. 

We are thinking about getting a treadmill but who knows where we will put it..... after  takeover of dad's house etc, we are going to get a mini-skip bin and have a huge clean out and hopefully we can set up a small gym area in the garage. That would be perfect, we would have a treadmill, free weights, a bench and some sort of cable machine....

Anyway back later....

I am getting some furniture from Dad's house, like the lounge suite, a rug and a single bed.... for Steph, that is happening tomorrow lunchtime ish, we are getting the same people that picked up the china cabinets from the house, I will then leave the key behind, and that will be the last time I go in the house.

Have been moving lots of things around, we are going to keep our lounge suite and put it in the sunroom.....and using the two lazy-boys in the gaming area..... for now anyway....

I am feeling really emotional, knowing that this is the last time in the family home that my parents built, with some help from my Opa from Holland, when he came out to stay for a few months.... the rest of the furniture are going to the new buyers, they were happy to keep it, there is still some beautiful furniture there, so am glad they are keeping it, and really appreciate that we have given it to them. It was built in the late 70's.... over 50 years :(. 

Anyway thats me for today, I will be leaving about 8.30am tomorrow. 

Tauranga Maybe.....

We were going to go to Hamilton today but the Zenders Cafe has a huge event on at lunchtime, though the cafe will still be open they said parking is very limited and really only for the event. so we might go to Tauranga instead..... or may not lol. 

Poor Eli has been up all night with croup....

And thats about all I have for now...

Didn't end up going to Tauranga, it was to bloody cold and foggy. Isaac came for part of the day..... Eli went to after-hours care, his croup was not settling, so he was given steroids, hopefully he will better by tomorrow.... poor baby has not slept for at least 24 hours.

Didn't do to much else.....

Today's Plans..... and 8 months....

Today's plan is to go to Tauranga to the lawyers, we are doing all the paperwork then, so will only need this one appointment.... and won't need to go back just before settlement day. 

Today is now 8 months since dad left us...it still is not an easy time for me. 

Might do a bit of shopping after that, or might come straight home, I think it will be an emotional day.....

David has Saturday off, so we might go to Hamilton and go to the Dutch cafe there 'Zenders', and then stop in the 'Gouda Cheese Shop' on the way home, weather dependent, we are suppose to get many days of rain coming up.

Back later...

Am back from Tauranga, all the paperwork done for the house sale. Hoping in the next 2 weeks, I can pick up the furniture that I want.... and that will be the last time I go into the house.... :(. Am feeling emotionally exhausted.... and have the headache from hell. The trip over was horrible, it was foggy, add in black ice and then roadworks, glad I left earlier than I planned. 

Not a lot has happened for the rest of the day, am going to bed soon, its a little chilly now..

Catch you tomorrow....

Thursday and 8 Months Tomorrow....

Tomorrow will be 8 months that dad passed..... like usual this time of the month, I am always unsettled....

Its 1 degree out there, so sure it will be a lovely frost out there....

Yesterday I went outside and the Tui just stayed out there and ate the orange... I was about a foot away, am going to try and hold the orange maybe today or tomorrow and see if it will land on me. That would be so cool...

Todays plans, go get some groceries.... then will prob go to the kindy teachers retirement lunch, not sure If Isaac will go for the day or not yet..... or just the lunch. It's his favourite teacher. 

Anyway back later :)

No kindy for Isaac, but we will go to the kindy teacher retirement lunch........ and yip a huge frost.....

We went to the lunch and it was really nice, and sad....

Tomorrow I have to be in Tauranga by 11am, as that is when our appointment is, not looking forward to it, with the heavy frosts we have had. It will be our only appointment, we are going to do all the paperwork, for takeover early August, well 5 weeks tomorrow to be exact. 

Catch you all tomorrow....

Stomach Issues....

Well my stomach issues have pretty much gone, so think stress was probably the issue....

Today I am going to New World's 3 Day Sale and get some stuff.... after I have mowed the lawns or will go tomorrow.

Isaac is still really sick so no kindy... yesterday he spent the whole day in bed, unlike him. 

5 Weeks on Friday, the house will be passed onto another family.

I have been awake since about 3am - I have been having dreams about mum and dad in the house.....

Back later :)

Oh my god, it is cold this morning, currently it is 2 degrees...... once the grass dries out a bit, I will do the lawns. And can't believe it is July 1st today, 2 weeks today Isaac will be 5 years old.... it's sad, I love him at this age......

Well have been a busy bee, mowed the lawns and think I fixed the loo that had running water all the time.... cleaned some of the glass doors on the lounge.... put out fresh oranges and now watching the wax eye's and Tui's having a nice feed :). 

Bugga the loo is not quite working right, heaps better but, might have another play tomorrow...

I ended up cleaning up the outside front entrance.... I was on a roll. Tomorrow at the kindy we have Isaac's favourite teacher retirement lunch, not sure if he will go for the whole day or just the lunch, depends on how he is in the morning. 

Today was such a beautiful day outside, it was cold and a heavy frost in the morning but a beautiful sunny day once it warmed up a bit. 

Anyway catch you all tomorrow :)