September 30th....

Where the fuck did September go......

Yesterday was a crap day I can not even remember what I did.... ohh thats right I purchased 2 dresses from 'Vagary the Label', and here they are....not cheap but they are good quality, within 30 min, both the dresses had sold out in my size...

Can't wait for their arrival, be a couple of weeks, they come from Aussie......

Tomorrow am going to see dad for the day. 

Man the weather is crap, one minute sun, the next rain and wind and then not long ago hail......

Thursday night for Stephs birthday we had dinner here and a cake..... we ordered Uber Eats, we had Cobb & Co, my god there mashed potatoes were yummm, well actually the whole meal was nice, we all rated it a 10/10.

I seem to be over the worst of withdrawal symptoms, I will drop the night tablet in about a week. 

Thats it for now, not really in the mood fro chatting.... 

September 28th..... Happy Birthday to my Twins....

First of doing the day behind thing just feels weird lol...... so going back to normal day vlogging 

Yesterday I felt like crap..... couldn't figure out why, then I had an epiphany moment, and realised it was more than likely tramadol withdrawal, I went back on it for my knee about 10 months ago, new science is that after a while it no longer works, so I decided to wean myself off a bit to quick probably, but when I see my doctor next in 3 weeks I want to be able to start something new. Last time I was on tramadol it took me months to come off after being on it for years. So probably doing something stupid but hey..... Side effects coming off it lasts 4 to 10 days..... Last night I slept crap, my knee was so sore and my wrist was throbbing. Is it in my head? maybe..... lol I will probably do my next drop (night time, I dropped the morning dose), was on the max dose on Monday.  

Today the twins turn 28, Chris has just come back from a trip to Thailand and the Gold Coast.... am hoping Steph and baby Isaac come for dinner tonight, speaking of holidays, David and I are hoping to get away next year but that all depends on how things go with dad. Not sure where, Aussie or maybe Europe especially Holland to meet up again with cousins etc..... that is one major reason why I need to get fitter and healthier. 

Might be back later might not - depending if anything exciting happens :)

26th September....

 TUESDAY 26TH SEPTEMBER:

Thought I would do a post from the day before each day (If that makes sense)....

I did make the gym, but OMG I am so unfit, I did 28 minutes, 10min on the bike and 18min doing upper body weights.... I came home and had these massive back spasms, thank god they only lasted a few seconds each time, but OMG they were painful when they hit, lucky there were no more once I got into bed last night, but have woken up with achy muscles, surprise surprise. I have not really used any of these muscles for god knows how long. Have decided to go every second day to the gym for now..... tomorrow I meet my physio there, have a new physio so we are trying to change things up for my wrist exercises, yes my wrist has completely gone backwards, so need to strengthen that up once again, I know I need to do my wrist exercises, 3-4 times a week to maintain the strength in it, but it gets so boring.... 

Made spaghetti bolognaise for dinner - put it in the crockpot cause I knew I would not have much energy or motivation, (and better still there is enough left for tonight) :), trying to get back in a routine, with going to dads so much, though nails will still take a back seat apart from regular customers, who understand that I may have to cancel short notice. 

We had so much rain in the afternoon yesterday, and thunder and lightening..... and today it is sunny - tripple yay, the weather has so much to do with how my day will go.... so hoping it will be a good one, do have to do a small grocery shop this morning and thats it. 

So thats it for yesterday

Catch you all tomorrow :)

Timeline of the Year to date - Sept 26th 2023

 This post has been a long time coming..... It might be a long one.....

March - August 2023:

Dad has his surgery on the 31st March for his melanoma on his hand, they did a skin graft which didn't take, so took nearly two months to heal, before they could start radiation.

When they did a scan to check his heart and lungs etc for surgery they found a mass on his kidney this was later confirmed as cancer, after another scan.

Radiation started and it was 2 weeks, 5 days a week - with two sessions to go dad had a heart attack that night, I was staying there so got the ambulance out and taken to hospital. I followed the ambulance, as his heart is now to weak from fighting the cancer etc, there was nothing they could do, so the next day was sent home, well he spent the weekend at my sisters and then I came the following week to stay with him. 

We finished radiation (the final 2 sessions) the following week. We have had regular doctors visits during this time, both my sister and I shared doing this. The hospital is about 25 minutes from where he lives, I would travel to Katikati from Rotorua which is about an hour and a half away then, take him to Tauranga, back to katiKati, then either stay there or go back to Rotorua that day. 

SEPTEMBER:

During a doctor visit they found a lump under his arm, (the same arm as his melanoma surgery on his hand), they ordered another CT scan within a few days and then a pre-assessment appointment to see if he could have the surgery to remove it. We saw the nurse and then met with the anaesthetist, and there was no way he could have the surgery as it was a major surgery -  oh and also they found 2 lumps in the lymph-nodes that is cancer..... his heart would not allow it, he would die on the table or even worse have a stroke which would devastate him. If he did happen to have made it through surgery, he would have required six weeks of radiation, five days a week. We saw the radiation department about a week ago, and the doctor had noticed a massive deterioration in dad from 3 weeks earlier, he is very wheezy and said he now has congestive heart failure and no more could be done. They feel his heart will take him out before the cancer and gave us a timeline from anytime now to 6 months, but we can tell his heart is getting worse every week now. 

Apart from the house, he now uses a wheelchair and has a mobility card, I go over and take him to get groceries, he also has a mobility card, something even 2 months ago, we thought he would never ever use as he was so independent.... but he is very limited even at home now with what he can do, he even has a house cleaner, again something we never thought he would agree too...... every visit I see him, I wonder if it will be my last visit. He is having trouble sleeping now with his wheeze, and has a really bad cough, we know things are not good.

As some of you know, dad and I had a love/hate relationship, this has brought us much closer together, and even my sister and I are much closer. 

Onto other stuff.....

The week before my fathers surgery back in March, in fact about a week before, on a visit to see him, my car broke down the AC f**ked out, this was a long 2 month wait to try and find a rare part with no success we had to get rid of the AC..... then about a week after I got my car back (after paying a huge price for a rental car for the 7 or so weeks,  as I needed a rental because of dad - I needed to be able to get there etc.... David had an accident (his fault), wrote of his car and we decided to buy a much better car, after a lot tooing and frowing, we settled on a Toyota Corolla 2021 and the best part it is blue lol, oh and David was fine lol.

Oh also in the same time my car broke down, my daughters car broke down....

About 2 weeks later I put a nice little ding in it, I backed it into the carport and hit the metal pole whoops.....

Now let's talk about me, my daughter is still living in Rotorua, so enjoying so much time with my grandson, enjoying every minute I can get, as I think they are moving back up to Auckland early next year. The twins turn 28 on Thursday..... Chris has just been a lovely holiday to the Gold Coast and Thailand, and comes back tomorrow.

With everything that has been happening since early March and visiting dad two or more times a week, I have neglected myself, nails has also taken a dive, I just cannot commit to it much at all. But thats ok, cause Dad comes first right now. Today though I am starting back at the gym, and once the school holidays are over I am planning to get back to the pool. I am so nervous and oh and my second knee is now clapping out but to be honest with winter I was surprised how well the knees were doing. Weight is still the same, managed to keep the 23 - 25 kilos of.... god knows how. 

I am shit scared about going back to they gym, I had put the membership on hold till now. I still talk to dad on Skype everyday when I don't visit, so will go after that about 9.30 - 10.00ish. 

To take my mind off things, I have got into the Xbox, doing gaming, it has been a nice distraction through this time lol. 

So I think thats it, for now, I really hope to update more often... wish me luck at the gym lol